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Question: Could somebody critique my sonnet!?
This is the super rough draft, just random nonsense out of my head, I'll make sense of it based of your suggestions!. Please, any feedback appreciated:

What stays unspoken speaks in magnitudes,
Their thoughts articulated can attest,
And so despite our separate attitudes,
I must articulate what thoughts speak best:
While they’re not speaking words do whisper last
The faltered entries to your distant core
When still our moments seem to flicker fast
Beyond the limits time puts on the door
With each long mile laid between each mind
There lies a second step which we can’t fault
But silence is the threat to what we find
Which crosses past the momentary halt
But everything we say when silence ends
Reveals the silent truth that we are friends!.Www@QuestionHome@Com


Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
Nice!. I'd break it into the sections, (Three sets of four lines, then the couplet to finish, just for emphasis really!. ) The one line that's out is; "With each long mile laid between each mind" Perhaps swap every for each to give the full 10 sylable count!?
"Www@QuestionHome@Com