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Question: Would you like to read my poem "Awakening" and tell me what you think!?
Awakening

I hold in my tired hands
Your double pancake softness!.
They feel newly done!.
Your moist feminine fingertips
Sweep pleasant caresses over
My jaded cheeks!.
You look me and make me
Jewels in your obsidian ones!.
You grin and reveal the childhood games
You played and tripped in!.
Your moustache, comical for your youth,
Is that sparse gentle roughness above
Your pink plump lips!.
You tempt me
With your squishy juicy lower piece –
I bite it tender!.

Your perfume embraces me –
Then, inevitably, pink to pink,
Taste buds intermingle!.
Inhaling affection, exhaling affection,
Our sweetness rest satisfied on our tongues!.

I feel the flower of relief unfold
Its blossom folds of love!.Www@QuestionHome@Com


Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
its ok, it seemed to start out calm and caressing like mother and newborn, but converts to more passionate overtones, play safe, keep writing,?
!.!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

you have transfered your message well, as a poet i can understand how you feel , but sister there is something missing !. you better rhyme the last wordsWww@QuestionHome@Com