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Question: Please, Please people, read my poem and honestly critique!? =))!?
Death, old friend,
my dear,
where have you been,
and care to mend
your promises!?
Death, old friend,
I missed you
And never once
did you leave my mind!.
Have you come to claim
Your rights upon my soul!?
Oh death, old friend,
Be careful of the people
in this Earth!.
While you were gone I suffered!.
I've been trying hard to reach you,
Death, old friend!. Listen
and thoughts I'll amend!.
I was locked away!.
Fear ate at my liberty,
And rape destroyed my youth!.
Solitude plagued my days,
And I drowned in the despair
of myself and my brothers!.
Death, old friend,
Have you come to claim me!?Www@QuestionHome@Com
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
I think it's wonderful!. A reflection of someone filled with thoughts of the life lived and pondering the eventual meeting with death who will be welcomed as a friend!.
We all will re-play such moments, such events in our lives, complete with regrets, how life affected us!. This piece reflects the immense pain and sorrow that occurs for some so that death becomes "a friend, and a hope that at last it is time; it is finished!."
It's a wonderful piece!. One has to read it several times to "FEEL" all that you've expressed, it is so meaty!. But I got it all and I say WELL DONE!.
It flows beautifully from thought to thought, stanza to stanza!. You've done your homework on the structure, the spelling, grammar, and such or I would've stumbled and I didn't!. So much for rules!.
The rest has to be 'felt'!.
You did a great job at capturing this 'feeling of desperate wanting of death as an old friend'!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
its okay :) 6/7 out of 10!?
commetn mine too
http://answers!.yahoo!.com/question/index;!.!.!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
i like it its good and creppy but the 4 pargraph i would slipt into 2 just to make it flow more evenly like stop at " i was locked away " then pick it back up
good one keep it upWww@QuestionHome@Com
it was good, it has a classical style to it too!. it's unique tooWww@QuestionHome@Com
i liked sum parts better then others but over all its goodWww@QuestionHome@Com
Honestly Good!. For school or for fun!?Www@QuestionHome@Com