How are these poems......?

Question: How are these poems!.!.!.!.!.!.!?

Plz read and dont 4get to post ur comments!.!.!.

THE DREAM OF LOVE

The dream begins as you open the door,
the wonderful feeling too strong to ignore!.
Do you remember!? Are you feeling it too!?
Are you also wondering what to do!?

Not knowing what to say,
please speak first, I pray!.
Remembering all the promises and lies,
remembering the hurt that never dies!.

The words that I dare not utter are flooding me,
the real you is the you that I never did see!.
You swore to me you would never let go,
how the hell was I supposed to know!?

Nothing you said was ever true,
you still don't realize you make me so blue!.
How hurtful it is to finally see,
that even now you don't understand me!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:

third is best closely followed by second!.

The second evokes some great imagery and the third is on good subject matter!. A few suggestions, sometimes it is good to sort of (this is hard to explain) delay the important things like for example: Tears running from THOSE sad eyes!. This delays, but also emphasises some of the imagery which you have created!.
also sometimes your tone changes and you add in some words which are too modern; i!.e 'Dare not utter' compared to 'how the hell'!. You are building up a tone and changing words which don't suit that tone, try to stay within the feel and 'tone' which you are creating!.

also something which you could work to are more abstract/ metaphors, but they are difficult to do and don't work all the time!.

But these are minor things; they are awesome! and I don't think anyone should say great for a twelve year old because they are just great for anyone!.

Great poems and it would be nice to see you doing some which don't rhyme!Www@QuestionHome@Com

Very well done!. They're complete and they flow!. They're slightly veiled!. Your not just "swinging"!. You did a fantastic job!. Very well done!.

75 out of 100, if you don't agree with this score, that's fine, it's just my opinion!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Considering your age you did pretty good!.!.!.!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

I love the first and third one! The second one isn't that bad either!Www@QuestionHome@Com

this is so cool but it really worries me that u have such thought while u're only 12 :s

anyways I really love the 1st one and can relate to it 8(Www@QuestionHome@Com

sweetie!.!.!.i see a perfect poet in you
they are all great specially the 'Love Unspoken'

have stars :)Www@QuestionHome@Com

i really like the love unspoken one, :)Www@QuestionHome@Com

i like it :)Www@QuestionHome@Com

i loved it specially the dream of love so i`m gonna give u 10 out of 10Www@QuestionHome@Com

omg !! u r so good!. the love unspoken almost made me cry!. Please do not stop your writing, you are good!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

its so nice! i promise! did u made this by urself!? can u give me tips on poems!? please be my contact!. i really love the love unspoken!Www@QuestionHome@Com

omg it's really good =D
wrote it by yourself!? x_X

PS!.If soemone likes poems and have time to read!.!.!.
Here's one of mine!.!.!.!.:
http://answers!.yahoo!.com/question/index;!.!.!.
If someone can help me out, see here:
http://answers!.yahoo!.com/question/index;!.!.!.
thnx!.!.!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

For starters I think you have amazing talent for a person your age your maturity shines through your writing and thats awesome stuff hell when I was around that age my stuff we're nothing compared to this!. The first poem I thought was awesome!. The 2nd poem I think needs abit more work, it doesn't flow freely it's abit bunched up in afew areas and the third one is great!. I want to point out one thing I did love about your writing and that was b\c you don't give titles that have the name within the piece and thats a key thing for me, b\c if you have the title in the poem it kind of defeats the purpose of reading the poem because you already know what its about!. So keep that up there is one tip I'd like to share and that is not everything has to rhyme you can use it alittle but not too much b\c sometimes it kills the poem\story!.

If you really wanna know what your writing means to people try out this website it's great you get reviews and some nasty ones but let me tell you sweet alot of people on the site don't know what they're talking about even the older ones like the grannies and remember you can never learn too much!.

Visit this site www!.urbis!.com sign up and post some of your work up!. Don't take anything to heart when you get nasty reviews sweet cause like I said most don't even know what they're talking about!.

If you decide to join and you need a friend just add me I'm www!.urbis!.com/AmyWalker

Okay

Thanks for the awesome readWww@QuestionHome@Com

I THINK SO YOU HAVE JUST TAKEN FROM SOME ARTICLE,NO 12 YRS GIRL WILL WRITE LIKE THISWww@QuestionHome@Com