Originally much longer, this poem is rewritten and much shorter. Is it more effe

Question: Originally much longer, this poem is rewritten and much shorter!. Is it more effective!.!?

"blood tears"

It is all around,
sunset , shades of gray!.
Shadows reaching, stretching,
oh so far away!.

Beneath the crypt,
footsteps tread!.
Down here they live,
the silent dead!.

Demons rape immortal souls,
and as they laugh!.
The night is born,
with sweat and torment!.

Autumn evenings,
darkness craved!.
I dream of those,
who live no more!.

Shed me a tear of blood,
on top of my coffin!.
For each fallen drop,
brings me closer to life!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:

You are a great poet, very expressive, unique thinker!. Thanks for bearing your soul!. You have boldness to share your innermost feelings, just deep down guts, that most would cover up like the bandage on a wound!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Eh, it's ok!. And if it was longer before, you were right in shortening it, cause it's still pretty long!.

It needs depth!. It doesn't seem to be about anything specific to me!. But, I'm not you, so, who knows!? Just an opinion, and what good is literature without an opinion!?Www@QuestionHome@Com