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Question: Is the ending sufficient!? I tried to make it exciting!?
I know I already posted this but too bad!.
Clandestine Nightmares
She runs away,
knowing he is never
far behind!.
He will follow
with his hateful
words and
crushing blows!.
She has become
but a shadow of
what she
once was;
a gaunt shadow
of radiant life!.
She risks a
glance back and
sees that he is
almost upon her!.
Suddenly he is there,
beating,
smashing!.
She knows these
wounds are too
much and
feels her lifeblood
becoming one
with the earth!.
Death circles closer
and suddenly bears
down upon her!.
JOLT!
She wakes up,
slowly realizing
that it was all a
dream!.
What is life
but a dream!?
I also need a new title because the one I have kind of gives away the ending!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
This is a dire chase by Death, who wants to swallow you in subtle world!.
The poem is quite good, probably it needs revision on meter, rhyme, and in length!.; other wise it sounds like a nursery rhyme!.
The image is powerful, let the form also be equal to the image!.
At the end philosophising is also interesting!.
How would the title, ' Deathly Chase' be !?Www@QuestionHome@Com
Yes, this is very good! I love your use of very vivid imagery and words!. Keep up the good work, this is stunning!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
Hmmm!. The verses could be longer!?!?!? Or is that your desired effect!?Www@QuestionHome@Com
I think it is brilliant!Www@QuestionHome@Com