Position:Home>Poetry> What do you think of Neverland?
Question: What do you think of Neverland!?
I’m just another boy
Who hates growing older
Off to Neverland I’ll fly
And be a soldier
In Sir Peter Pans Army
Against Captain Hook
And it might seem
It was all from a book
But seconnd star to the right
And morning joys
Go spend the night
With the lost boys
Maybe find a pixie
To spend a with the day
Find Wendy Lady
So I can stay away
From the ticking crocodile
And take a stand
Relax for a while
Off to Neverland
i mean its not finished i just wrote it down!.!.!.!. ive always loved peter pan so this is just a rough draftWww@QuestionHome@Com
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
I think it is a good start for a poem!. I have some suggestions, if I may!? the flow and rhythm are off due to the inconsistent beats in the sentences!. If you will rework the sentences and make the beats even, it will flow and sound so much better!. Read the poem aloud and tape yourself as you do this, then play it back, that way you can hear all the little areas that need tweaked!. It can be made into a great poem with a little time and effort!. Thanks for sharing!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
I really like it!. It's got a good beat too,and what could've been a boring subject, you pulled together very nicely and turned it into something interesting!. I hope you keep posting your poems because I think given a subject with a bit more depth you could do wonders!Www@QuestionHome@Com
I-agree-with-Poe
It-is-a-great-poem-once
you-smooth-out-the-lumps
and-dips!.
Get-the-flow-going-with-each-line
Your-off-to-a-great-start!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
THERE IS A PLACE WHERE DREAMS ARE BORN
AND TIME IS NEVER PLANNED
NOT BAD YOUR POEM!.!.!.NOT BAD AT ALL!.!.!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
good job cutie :P lolWww@QuestionHome@Com