Question Home

Position:Home>Poetry> Rate this poem? I need help!?


Question: Rate this poem!? I need help!!?
It is for English class!. It must use metaphor to describe my dreams-it also needs "shape," so the length of the lines are a bit different!. Please help me! Any suggestions for a title!?
(Title)
Dreams are an ocean,
Distant, dark, and weak,
But through endless motion,
Can the refuge of a coast be reached!?
Far from sight, but forever held in mind,
Will I ever capture these dreams of mine!?
Gaining strength, the ocean’s limits are breached!.
Rebelling, for it’s through failure that dreams end!.
I try to tether these dreams, the ones run astray,
But when I struggle, fighting to hold them,
They escape my care to slip away!.
Drowning, left without hope,
I’ll strive for my ambitions,
Stroke by stroke!.
Because I know,
Submerged in watery visions,
That dreams are what I make them!.
I can decide to blindly ride the waves,
Bold and reckless, holding tight to my beliefs!.
High and low, down to my grave!.
I will follow these open dreams,
Treading unknown waters,
In search of peace!.Www@QuestionHome@Com


Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
I'm quite impressed!. The shape is okay!. You can always play around wtih spacing and all that!.!.!.
Title: Tranquility!? The Unknown!? haha - Waterbed Daydreams!?Www@QuestionHome@Com

I LOVE it!. I can invision it!. I think the shape is okay!.!.!. nothing in particular, but the lyrics are beautiful, so it makes up for the lack of shape, unless you are trying to portray the shape of waves!.!.!. then I could understand it better!. I think you should title it "Treading Unknown Waters"Www@QuestionHome@Com

!. !. !.wow!. !. !.WOW! that was AWESOME!!!
I never thought of it like that before!! I would so totally give it a 10-10! =)Www@QuestionHome@Com