Position:Home>Poetry> Constructive criticism for song lyrics/poem?
Question: Constructive criticism for song lyrics/poem!?
Hey, I'd really appreciate some feedback on these lyrics/poem!.
I know it's really short, a bit of a work in progress, but I'd appreciate help!.
You've got a hold on me
I'd do anything for you, can't you see, that,
I'm a puppet in your control
I'm gripping your hand, please don't let go
I'm waiting for my next command
I would climb a mountain, cross the desert sands
for you
I sort of have a tune worked out if I were to make a whole song, but I don't really know if I like this section enough!.
Thoughts!?Www@QuestionHome@Com
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
i like the lyrics, their good and u have talent
i just dont like the concept of being a 'puppet in a mans control' or 'waiting for my next command'!. it seems like he has so much control that you cant think for yourself!.
but i do like the lyrics
keep working on themWww@QuestionHome@Com
i like it i would work the whole song out and post it back up on here id love to read the whole song!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
rubbish twaddle, no substance
just whiny lyricsWww@QuestionHome@Com