Position:Home>Poetry> So what do you think of this writing?
Question: So what do you think of this writing!?
okay its a writing my friend wrote!. i think it was cool!. and no he's not atheist he just watches way to many horror movies!. vampires, things like that!.
by: malaki
Absolution at the sight of ur demise I no wat I must do
Choke
Die choking on ur every word!.
Swallow every blasphmey tie the noose my neck make this life end!.
Stop you crying that's a lie flush gasping white redding
You smile and destroy this it time that end this!.
Its our curse that makes this world so hopeless!.
Allowing our king to spread his genocidal wings
Clawing the skin each kill ur weakness
Annihilation your masterbation tyrant I will burn you
Its our curse that makes this world so hopeless!.
Allowing our queen to spread her genicidal wings!.
My had grips ur throat I need ur end
Burned, staked, ripped apart I avenge
For every life you have taken
I am here to repay
You ask "oh god why!?"
"Cuz im god that's F!@#ing why"Www@QuestionHome@Com
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
It looks to me as if your friend would have more talent writing songs rather than poems!. It sorta just a jumble of words that sound good together, which is what most music is made up of nowadays!. And I agree with the first answerer!. I know that a poem is always for the writer and always should be, but I don't think you're going to find a reader that would prefer the slang!. It just ruins the flow for me!. Your friend will probably stick with his own style, which is a respectable thing!. It's just not gonna get you too far with some of the stuck-in-their-ways literature people!. The people who are usually the ones that your success depends on the most!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
The only thing I will stress is using the contacted slang of words!. If you want to keep your readers, write out the words and only use poetic contractions!.!.!.
Although this is the now language, poetry is a much more simple and clean way of telling a story!.!.!.!.!.Any mature reader does not want to spend time trying to figure out what the contractions mean!.!.!.!.!.!.it distracts the reader and they tend to shy away from this form of slang/ english poetry!.!.!.!.!.
The poem is otherwise good and vivid with details!.!.!.!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
The lines "Swallow every blapshemy" and 'tie the noose around my neck" are both from Trivium songs!. Considering the fact that they're in the same line, I'd guess your friend was listening to some Trivium while he was writing!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
idk bout this one!.!.!.!.usually i'm ok about all the blood gashing and stuff, but involving the Lord,the last two lines, and "our king" kinda makes the poem ehh!.
ya know!?Www@QuestionHome@Com
the endings quite good but lets be honest you can't really ryhme why with why it's the same wordWww@QuestionHome@Com
its ***** awsome tbh :/ awsome much :) xWww@QuestionHome@Com
very vivid, full of rage!.!.!.it was okay!.Www@QuestionHome@Com