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Question: Does anybody want to rate this poem for me!?
Colorful grassy fields full of green grass, forced to fight weeds;
Lively surrounding that can hardly slow me down to their speed!.
Evenings when the sun above is blazing its heat
and trailing nights of full moonlight move my feet!.
Veering from defeat in despair; it's hard to be discreet!.
Ears of the corny hardly hear the cries, "it's hard to eat!"
Loving the warnings which I barely try very hard to heed;
Always scorned by some!.!.!. hatred I laugh my ways away from!.
Never succumbing to the split faces of unnecessary battles;
Dividing myself from the space of snakes which fail to rattle!.
Inviting some intelligent battles with a certain hesitant smile;
Nice thoughts for my opposition, tend to remain all the while!.
Going into dramatic positions to bend bent brains back to form
Wondering if stains of my peers' heads bring near red storms!?
Some things made of pain always tend to keep my head torn;
Blundering from beaten paths, ever since I was!.!.!.dead or born!?Www@QuestionHome@Com
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
I'm no expert by any stretch or meaning but I read a couple of poems daily, so what I think of your poem personally I think it's not bad at all!. I found interesting the analogies you used to mesh your thoughts into your poem, not bad!. Keep on Writing :) ?Www@QuestionHome@Com
I think the lines are to long
I like 6-8 syllables in a line
It jumps around a lot with little rhythm, but if that is what you wanted to present, its very good
I give you an eight too!Www@QuestionHome@Com
What's the title!? Not quite sure where you're going with these prose!. You wanted a rating, so I'll give you a 4 out of 10!. It's not horrible, but it's really not doing anything for me!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
The first line is terribly redundant so I am afraid I can not give a rating, or bother to read the lines following it!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
I love your poem and i think it is tru artistic genius!. Reading this i felt like i could relate, and i really got the messageWww@QuestionHome@Com
Pretty good, but i cant help but wonder, why vegetables!?Www@QuestionHome@Com
interesting poem!.!.!.!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
I love stanzas 3 and 4!. For them, I would rate a 9!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
Where is your rubric!?Www@QuestionHome@Com
Not to be nerdy or mean or anything, but needs more life and emotion in it!. It sounds kind of !.!.!.!.!. dead!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
8 out of 10! very good and easy to picture!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
You were right, "grassy" and "grass" on that line are redundant!. also your rhyming lines are too quick and out of time!. try maybe to alternate the rhyme lines and have the same amount of "beats" when you read them!. I like some of your symbolism " succumbing to the split faces of unnecessary battles", " space of snakes which fail to rattle",very thoughtful!. I understood sections of your poem, but didn't grasp where it was really going!.!.!.your responsibility!. Good first draft work on it make it real good!.Www@QuestionHome@Com