a drifter all the same
he told himself as he drew
deeply on the cigarette
drifting through, drifting along,
through this factory job
through this apartment with its slimy inhabitants
drifting through this sleazy city
just moving along
towards what i don’t know
but i do know one thing
they don’t have a hold on me!
i do what i want
i come and i go as i please
nobody has my number, the tv cackling
something from the corner of the room
a small black and white set
with a broken antenna!. a fire place
with a cluttered and dusty mantle above it
his mother and fathers’ pictures sat
beside that of michelle, the only woman
james had ever really loved, the only woman
who would never let him on
or off of the hook
she had said, if i let you have me you
will have won your prize and that will be that
and he had protested vehemently, it’s outrageous
venomous woman where
did you get such an idea!? it’s a lie you
don’t love me, in fact, you use me and yet
how could he imagine nights
nights of passions and promises!?
she does love me!. she’s scared of me because
she loves me!. she says i’ll never
have her!. she claims that if i have her
i’ll discard her
and she’s not going to give me that chance
imagine michelle!. perhaps its true
perhaps she senses it truly
and i am wrong
about myself
i have always fooled myself
for that matter
why should now be any different!? she
is probably right!. i don’t know
why i love her so, unless it is
because i cannot have her
and then she’s got it right
and yet it’s not right!. she is
the only one!. she possesses me, so erotic
so neurotic!. she drinks too much
though she hides it so well
how she glibly takes a drink here
and a drink there but she might have
her real drinking hidden like at night!.
it’s the alcohol it brings out her demons
that makes her so tough and unrelenting
how can she see me at all
with no commitment no promise
no conclusions!?
she’s strangely cruel
and why does it get to me!? really men live for women
alexander did it all for some woman
and why!? and then again why not!? we
fool ourselves!. we know what we want first
and then we just fool ourselves
and when we have finally convinced ourselves
and everyone else that
it is no longer really so, they say
he’s finally come to his senses!. he’s
given that no-good tramp
the boot!. he’s finally gotten rid of her
she was a real no-good and yet
she was so good!. oh, michelle was
so good!. we only know real good a
few times in this life!. michelle …Www@QuestionHome@Com