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Question: Help please (and opinions)!?
can someone plz put this into stanzas 4 me,and give ur opinions!.
i stare at his dark eyes,stunned, he asked me, me out of all the other girls!. so many others he could have asked, but he didn't, he picked me, i wanna scream, and tell everyone how lucky i am, i wanna run and brag to all the girls, i stare back at him and relize he's still waiting for my answer, so many things i wanna say, i'm suprised that my voice comes out even when i finally answer him, "sure you can borrow my pen!. "Www@QuestionHome@Com
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
First of all, please, please, please!.!.!.it's "I", not "i"!. Okay, now on to your poem!.
I stare at his dark eyes
stunned, he asked me
me out of all the other girls
so many others
he could have asked
but he didn't, he picked
me
I want to scream!
and tell everyone
how lucky I am
I want to run and brag
to all the other girls
I stare back at him
and realize
he's still waiting for my answer
so many things
I want to say
I'm surprised that my voice
even comes out when
I finally answer him:
"Sure, you can borrow my pen!."
My opinion!? Good turn at the end!.!.!.the set-up had us going in another direction and you fooled us with a good ending!. It is also a good snapshot of youthful human nature, where even something trivial can seem important!. Clever writing, just keep your "I"s in the uppercase and you'll be fine!.
The line breaks I recommended are not the only way you could break them!.!.!.but what I tried to do was use the breaks to create pauses where I thought you wanted them, and to sometimes provide a package of sorts for specific ideas!.
hope this helpsWww@QuestionHome@Com