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Question: Would you help me improve this!?
Frightened Soldier
Cowing down, I raise my head
defiant in my rampant fear!.
While all the world seeks their own death
I will not shed a single tear!.
But something deeper in me still
wishes to lend my minute aid
before the nightmares take their hold
and demon bonds on men are laid!.
I don’t usually write short poems but I wanted to know how I can make this better!. Is there anything missing!? Anything unnecessary!? Any lines that don’t flow!? Any misspellings!? ANYTHING I can improve on that you can see would be helpful…Www@QuestionHome@Com
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
I was caught up on the "minute aid" part but, other than that I think this was very flowy! I cannot write as well so I do not know where I have the authority to comment!. But, just because I cannot do it don't mean I can't understand what is good or not about it!. Very cool, I liked it and I will be sure to look for the rest of your stuff!.
P!.S!. I have looked through your history and all your resolveds and I think you are one of the best on here!. However, I have not been here long and haven't seen many!. There are many with talent here and you are up there with the best of them!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
Beautiful, really lovely!. I cannot critique what is already perfect!. True courage is to show bravery when afraid, and this illustrates this wonderfully!. It would be a brilliant beginning for a longer poem, as it leaves me wondering what will happen next, with a sense of mystery about it!. I think it is outstanding!. Thank you!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
thats AMAZING!!! really good
just!. i dont get the cowing down part =\
but yeah beautiful poem =]Www@QuestionHome@Com
I agree with the Fallen one!. But that is all I could see and without his pointing out of it I would not have noticed!.!.!. Shows you how much of a help I am!.!.!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
I liked and understood every word, you are a great writer!.
It shows me!. that your spirit sees many things others dont!.Www@QuestionHome@Com