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Question: Poem for you to criticize!? English majors!? Or anybody!?
Ok I know the flow of rhyming is off!. Can anybody help me fix it!? Does the last stanza make sense to you!?
Through My Eyes
The taste of holy water
As sole as it can be
Its purifying substance
Gave something new to me
The world that I have come to know
Has filled my veins with discontent
Pain, anguish, death, desire
These are things that fuel my fire
The horns of war deafen my ear
The hungry children bring a tear
The gaseous fumes that are set free
But where do we find harmony!?
O' the handsome Autumn leaves
Take one last look at these thining trees
The firey heat, it burns my skin
Stop the production, for the sake of men!
The world, his heart, now been stricken
Our fate, now his, begin to sicken
The hearts of ours now his to share
The fast foods of surplus taste of despairWww@QuestionHome@Com
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
It depends if you want to create a poem with free style!. The patterns will be your choice!. It does not need to be consistent for as long as you express the poem the way you want it!. Though pattern creates a dramatic effect and so as the rhyme!.
I really like your poem, it is on the time, "Global Warming"!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
Okay, overall your poem is very creative and good but the part where you said "his" in the poem, should be corrected to "I" or "my" because your talking about yourself!. also you should change some parts of the last stanza because it doesnt flow with the other stanzas!. But overall, your poem is creative!.Www@QuestionHome@Com