My poem...advice..editing.....

Question: My poem!.!.!.advice!.!.editing!.!.!.anyth!.!.!.

I glow like New York City,
And burn like the desert,
I’m just as blind as the love I’m chasing

I shine like the stars in the sky,
And fall when they die
Only to realize love is just another lie

Blazing like the sun
Burning like a candle
…Time is fading…

I crash like the waves
Drink up the shore
Over and over, no more

Like a record player
The same beat
The same tune

All I’m asking for
Is something newWww@QuestionHome@Com

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:

I like it! Love it infact! Because a poem doesn't have to rythme to be good! I'd probably rephrase the second stanza so that like the rest of the poem it doesn't rythme, but instead focuses on your message!.!.!.

"I shine like the stars above
And fall when they die!.
Only to realize love is just another lie!."

Not much difference, I know!. But it's great how you have it too!. Other than that, have you thought of a good title for it yet!?!?

That's important!Www@QuestionHome@Com

I really like it, i think you need you have one more line at the very end!.!.!. just after "is something new", but thats what i think!. Its your poem so if you like it thats the main thing!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Fantastic 10/10 with great similes to feel the emotion and understand it better!. Great job!!!Www@QuestionHome@Com

11/10 I really love it!Www@QuestionHome@Com

woah! that was like the best poem i have ever read!Www@QuestionHome@Com