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Position:Home>Poetry> What do you think of my attempt at not rhyming?Question: What do you think of my attempt at not rhyming!? never tried the not rhyming, is this ok!?
Prelude to Divorce the wind whistles in the darkness and I am awake the night is too long and I am afraid I picture myself away In a place I feel warm away from the worries of now away from the words they become louder like trains and now come unstifled cries I want to be anywhere but here but I am still a child, I can't leave they fight and blame into the night and I, don't sleepWww@QuestionHome@Com Best Answer - Chosen by Asker: As a poem, it's not bad!. There are two ways you can go about the "not rhyming" thing!.!.!.free verse, and open verse!. The difference is that free verse doesn't require anything!.!.!.there doesn't have to be a pattern, consistant meter, length, etc!. Open verse, on the other hand, is just like rhymed poetry except it doesn't rhyme!. In other words, it "reads" like rhymed poetry in that the lines carry a beat and usually follow a pattern of meter, but the end words of each line don't rhyme with other end words!. here's a quick example: The wind whistles in the darkness And I am awake The night is too long and moody And I am afraid yes!.!.!.I know I rewrote your third line, but it was to make a point: these four lines create a pattern even though they don't rhyme!.!.!.that's "open verse"!.!.!.the way you wrote your poem is "free verse"!. The only reason I bring up the difference is that if you're going to experiment with non-rhyming poetry, you might as well understand the two basic types so you can try both!. If you're used to writing rhymed poetry, open verse can be actually quite nice, because it takes the rhyming restriction off and yet it still lets your ear get into the rhythm of your lines!. Since your poem was in free verse, there are lines where you say, "and now!.!.!.", but you don't have to!.!.!.you could simply say, "Now come unstifled cries"!. I do like your line, "they fight and blame into the night"!.!.!.it creates a very good, solid image that transcends the words alone!. "That" is what you might want to use more of!.!.!.and it's something free and open verse can more easily do than rhymed verse due to the rhyming restrictions limiting the words you can use!. Good first attempt at free verse!.!.!.keep writingWww@QuestionHome@Com It's good for a first time!. Empty yourself into the poem, put all of your emotions and feelings into it! You have promise for a future of writing poetry!. Keep it up!Www@QuestionHome@Com Great job!.!.!.!.you did good for a first timerWww@QuestionHome@Com Sounds like you're in an unhappy situation!. Time is the "Great Filter" it will get better!.Www@QuestionHome@Com |