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Question: Is this a good start for a beginner!?
I have neot been writting poetry for long but have always loved it to read!. Is this a good start!?
“something-or-other”
As the band plays a tune more melodic than the night airs chorus
Druidic Priests harping on their ceremony and right
Up and down the rock face they drag their blades
And all the world bows to their riotous clamor and sing-song
Witches quail at the sight of the sun and moon colliding in a nightmares dance
I don’t know how to take the pagans dance
But if you would come dance along
I would be a happy princeWww@QuestionHome@Com
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
I will say what the others have said, than "dance" repartition gets on my nerves!.!.!. other than that this is a GREAT start!. You should go in on my profile and see how bad I was at the beginning!.!.!. You are off to a stronger start than I!.!.!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
Yes, it is a good start!. Your language is good and content interesting!. This poem was easy to read and has good flow!.
It will be interesting to see more from you!. We often challenge each other with different poetic forms and experiment with sound devices!.!.!.you should join in sometime and see how you like it!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
This is very good! Very descriptive and great imagery!. The only comment I have is that "dance" is used in 3 consecutive lines and gets a little repetitive, maybe try switching it out for another word in one or two of those lines!.!.!.other than that, I have no other critique!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
This is very, very, good!Www@QuestionHome@Com
it is very good
keep it upWww@QuestionHome@Com
This is a fascinating and engaging start for anyone, not just a beginner!. There are a couple of grammatical and spelling errors, and I would break the lines up a bit, like:
As the band plays a tune
More melodic than the night air's chorus,
Druidic priests harping on their ceremony and rite,
Up and down the rock face they drag their blades
And all the world bows to their riotous clamor and sing-song!.
Witches quail at the site of the sun and the moon
Colliding in a nightmare's dance!.
I don't know how to take the pagan's dance
But if you would come (and dance) along
I would be a happy prince!.
Maybe leaving off one of the "dances"!.
If you work on this a bit, it will be wonderful!. It has so much potential and you are gifted with a great sense of story and use of words!. Thank you!.Www@QuestionHome@Com