A poem from long ago rewritten. Any ideas to tighten it up.?

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Question:

"ritual"

The twilight belongs to us,
We deny your hollow trust!.
Nothing here that we desire,
Cleansing here, a funural pyre,

Black and sick, dead romance,
Underground satanic chants
Lightning cracks across the sky,
No one there to here you cry!.

Time is over, chants refrain!.
Blood flows over, down the drain!.
The end is close , time is near,
Satan cackles, resounding fear!.

Thunder blasts, winds of sorrow,
There will be no tomorrow!.
No escape, the ends at hand,
All is over, cue the band!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:

hmmm, I think it is pretty "tight" as you say like it is, but there is one phrase that stands out to me!. Black and sick, not so much the black, just the "sick" for some reason it just seems to stand out like a neon sign! Just my opinion though my friend, no offense!. I like the poem, thanks for sharing!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

here we go again!. may your darkness engulf you, not once, not twice but never more!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

I like it dark, scary, against my religion but still good 10/10Www@QuestionHome@Com