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Question: What do you think of this!? I wrote without editting!?
A storm, I feel, is on its way
rumbling hard
with Clouds of grey
I watch from behind the window-pane
I see the world today
and I hear the storm, it's on its way!.!.!.

First, the blanket of dusk
With the smell of musk
the flowers slowly shy away
the bees and birds fly away

Darkness edging nearer,
A storm is on its way!.!.!.

Then, the wind gives a blow
a blow, not of life
It shatters the world, with panic and strife
batters at my window-pane
cutting the air
like a cutting knife
The storm is surely on its way

Flashes of light, roaring heaven
is it Good!? or is it God!?
my little sister is crying, stricken
in a corner, as she remembers
the last time we had a flood

I see the world I knew
burning without a clue
what she had done, to what was this due
As all sign of love - and all sign of life
was swept away
as all that mattered crept away
Do not worry little sister
The storm is on its wayWww@QuestionHome@Com


Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
i like it !.!. its a nice poem but someone could take it as a deepeer meaning than weather !.!. i like it tho !.!.!. enter it at poetry!.com and if they like it they will enter it in a book and you may even win a prize if its your original work!Www@QuestionHome@Com

Why did you post it - when it needed a little work doing to it!?
I think it is very good in parts - but, do edit it and submit it again!.
(Lines like 'Do not worry little sister
the storm is on its way' - doesn't make sense!. (to a small child you might say 'Do not worry little sister, the storm is going away')Www@QuestionHome@Com

well you personally might not like it but I do!.!.!.it's really good!.Www@QuestionHome@Com