An Evil poem involving love. How is it.?

Question: An Evil poem involving love!. How is it!.!?

"ripped to pieces"

Her life I pilfered that night,
In the hopes our souls would join!.
Her eyes a carbon desert,
A virgin blessed by God!.

She knew not of Cerberus,
Canine keeper of the gates of hell!.
I fed upon her radiance,
A virgin she's no more!.

A magic potion given,
Left us close to death!.
Lost in the perversion,
The blackness of her mind!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:

great!. reminds acutely of the 3 headed Cerberus of death to guard your evil lair!. perhaps magic potion from the banks of river styx!
wonderful imagery to capture that dark night eating pomegranate seeds with Persephone!Www@QuestionHome@Com

Her life not pilfered in night,not come
In hopes our souls will join as one
Her eyes a carbon desert gold
Behold the dawn
With hearts so bold

She knew not when
The cerberus comes
A canine keeper
True to tell!.
Lets open the gates!.
The gates of hell!.

I fed apon her radiance gone
No time
No heart
A virgin dreams no more

A magic potion given high
A bird
A feather
In death we are close togeather

A love that's lost in past
Perversions!.
A blackness robs her of her mind
A child
We findWww@QuestionHome@Com

I enjoyed the poem but It could use some minor work (only my belief) the line, "A virgin blessed by God" I would find a stronger image than God, its over used!. and I have a little problem with the word blackness!.!.!.the (what!?) of her mind!. Just my opinion!. But on the whole a very good poem!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

oh my god ! a man aspirations of deflowering a virgin in a poetic way !

idea: overused
poem : very good!Www@QuestionHome@Com

Very poeticWww@QuestionHome@Com

you are very poetic!. i think you should keep writing more poems!. you seem like a very deep-thinker!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

It went above my head!.!.!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

sounds like this could have a sequil!.!.!.!.u know i always like ur peotryWww@QuestionHome@Com