A decrepit dog with three legs,
gingerly pawed at a sprite field mouse!.
He quickly tired of this and proclaimed:
Life is a glimmering lake of summer,
where old men seek out fish,
and young men fear their skin!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
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Position:Home>Poetry> Another poem. Do you "like" it?Question: Another poem!. Do you "like" it!? A decrepit dog with three legs,
gingerly pawed at a sprite field mouse!. He quickly tired of this and proclaimed: Life is a glimmering lake of summer, where old men seek out fish, and young men fear their skin!.Www@QuestionHome@Com Best Answer - Chosen by Asker: Seems like you're trying too hard to be different!. It screams a 'look at me! Look how abstract I can be!' quality, which is rarely a good thing!. Tone it down and expand it!.Www@QuestionHome@Com I read this poem to my daughter!. She says it reminds her of German Expressionist art!. In an odd way we both found it beautiful!. I don't know it that is what you were looking for but it is actually very good!. In an out of the box sort of way!.Www@QuestionHome@Com Maybe expand on the theme a little bit!. It's kind of weird and disjointed!.Www@QuestionHome@Com yes I like this!.Www@QuestionHome@Com |