Question Home

Position:Home>Poetry> Poem. any advice?!?! 10 points?


Question: Poem!. any advice!?!!?! 10 points!?
Do you have any suggestions!? Any advice!? Did you like it!? How did it make you feel!?

Mouth
By: me

A mouth is not just pink lips!.

It’s not only a tongue that slithers like a snake
Nor is it gums that stay so strong and never break
Not muscle or decoration that sits on the face!.

The curve of the lips that hug the mouth!. Never staying in place!.
Making movements that match your words
Chirping music like the birds!.

Humming sweet lullabies to babies purring in their sleep!.
First words or so much as a first squeak!.
They show affection
Along with hate
A curl of the lip
A smile across the whole face!.

Mouth of the river gleaming with pride
Opening so big and wide

Seal your lips and throw away the key

The mouth holds secrets!. Only the lips can see!.



THANKS SO MUCH! 10 points for most helpful/honest!.Www@QuestionHome@Com


Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
Wow, I have to say that I love the last two lines!.

However, you should watch your punctuation!. You're missing a few commas and periods here and there, but overall, the poem is great!. also, another criticism I have is that you titled your poem "Mouth", but the last line seems to indicate that you have emphasized the lips this entire time!.

Great poem though!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Very good! Exactly how good it is depends on your age, but it was pretty excellent for anybody though!. The only thing I would suggest is to spruce it up a little by using more imagery and possible some more descriptive vocabulary, even though it already has plenty!. Maybe use alliteration as well!. Great job, nice poem!Www@QuestionHome@Com

i love it!
i love the last line especially=]

how about repeating the first line - A mouth is not just pink lips-
at the very end

so it would go!.!.

"Seal your lips and throw away the key

The mouth holds secrets!. Only the lips can see!.

A mouth is not just pink lips-"

xox-Www@QuestionHome@Com

I honestly loved it! Like truly it is really good!. This would be great for kids to read!. It made me really think of my mouth and how it works!. I could actually imagine everything when I was reading it!. So great job!;)Www@QuestionHome@Com