"After She's Dead" Can I get some crit please?

Question: "After She's Dead" Can I get some crit please!?

After She’’s Dead

Head spinning
trudging on
another day
has just begun
weak and wearing
rest, no sleep
hours are long
as are the weeks
so much to do
so little time
too many thoughts
gnaw on my mind
shirt tugs and screams
the ““mommy cries””
““It’’s just not fair!””
Door slams behind
the phone it rings
the news is said
the world moves on
after she’’s dead!.!.!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:

simplicity is beauty!! it's actually nice!.!.!. Rhymes good! ^_^

You can also visit mine if you want, for Memorial Day!.!.!.

http://www!.associatedcontent!.com/article!.!.!.

God Bless!Www@QuestionHome@Com