An edited poem down to bare bones. Is this ok.?

Question: An edited poem down to bare bones!. Is this ok!.!?

"sweet nectar"

Winter is bright,
darkeness is dread,
Let yourself be
lulled by cold winds of
the dead!.
I gasp and nothing
appears!.
Your devine
scarlet nectar,
My loodied lips,
Look just for
yours
perfect lust,
ecstatic pleasure!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:

Hi DP: You know, I really like your poetry, but this darkness you play around with is a game for you that you don't understand, and someday it's doing to hurt you, bad!. Get out of it!. You don't need it!. All you need it a big bomb to go off inside of you that explodes love and confettti, and then you laugh and giggle like a kid!. Your kid comes out in all your poetry: that's one of the things that makes you, actually, a very good poet!. But, dark = no!. You're just looking for something that's not hypocritical, that's cool and real!. But get this, the darkness is all a lie!. Don't get suckered into the big meat grinder, please!. pleaseWww@QuestionHome@Com

Well, it looks like everyone hates it!.!.
Who can blame them!? This can just be put in your collection of worthless ****!.
And stop using you being sexually abused and beaten as some sort of right!
Lots of people have but they dont "brag" about it so that they can get sympothy
You are a sad man!.!.!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

It has absolutely no meaning!. You would be better off walking up to her and saying "I want to kiss you"!. At least then she'd know you don't have any mojo!

scarlet nectar!? what time of month is it and just where are you kissing her!?Www@QuestionHome@Com

Sounds like a Metallica song or something!. I'm not a poetry fan, but I'd give it a six!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

this is terrible and your spelling is bad!. Please start again!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

yeahh,, this ones slot better!! I love it sir!!Www@QuestionHome@Com