Position:Home>Poetry> Please Be Honest What do you think of this?
Question: Please Be Honest What do you think of this!?
Homeless Child
Homeless Child
Without a mother
Without his father
Homeless Child
Only 10 years old
Still a baby and
Still a Child
Feeling so alone
Feeling unloved and
Feeling like giving up in life
Homeless Child
Hungry
Cold and
Scared
The bed that used to be so warm
Is no longer their
The bed that used to be my bed
Is no longer their
Nobody wants me
Nobody turns my way and
Nobody looks for me
Homeless Child
Feeling so small
Feeling like if the world is going to eat me up and
Feeling like if my life was just a big mistake
Tears run down my cheeks
Tears that then run down into the ground and
Tears that then dry up like if they were never their
Homeless Child and
Only 10 years oldWww@QuestionHome@Com
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
that is one of the best poems i have ever read!!
you are very talented, and should think about making some extra money with poetry!!! thanks a lot for sharing!!!Www@QuestionHome@Com
Wow! Awesome depiction of a homeless child!.
Just do a spell check on the verse!. (Two times you use the word "their" ("no longer their") should be: no longer THERE!. Third line from trhe bottom should read "as if" they were never "THERE" rather than "like if they were never their"
You also changed from 3rd person (his- 3rd line) to 1st person (bed that should be MY bed!. You should keep it all either 3rd or all 1st person!.
Otherwise, fantastic content!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
Excellent poem, it raises excellent awareness that children born to other couples and are without parents due to neglect or their death should not be viewed as chopped liver!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
very good (sad, but good) and very expressive!. the poor little child! Keep up the great work!Www@QuestionHome@Com
awesome poemWww@QuestionHome@Com
i think it is great I've never heard some think like it before it relay has a point to do what u feel and u no express your selfWww@QuestionHome@Com
Yup!.!.!.it is good!.!.!.very creative!.!.you've done great!.!.here is a star!.Www@QuestionHome@Com