Encore? Readers comments please?

Question: Encore!? Readers comments please!?

Authors Encore

Astute composer pen in hand paints private pictures released
unfolding inspired words of joy or pain to draw upon and
themes of assorted people places things!
Heard from every where in time and space
observing souls of human kind below or up above,
Readers are writer's aim, to touch hearts tempid,hot or cold
Signature signed or mysteriously anonymous unique!.

L2 "and broadcast" type kept popping it to the next line!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:

There's something in the poem that makes it quite compelling, but I think it needs a little more work!. Possibly putting more commas/full stops etc!. in or changing it slightly would help:

"Astute composer, pen in hand, paints private pictures
Released
Unfolding
Inspired
Words of joy or pain to draw upon;
Themes of assorted
People
Places
Things!.!.!."

Hope I helped!. ;)
Good luck!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

You have the flow from line to line but I am tepid on the thoughts and words you have chosen!. Plus a lot of the words seem when put together as you have to lack a consistent beat!. Why not start with something like this:

Astute composers with pens as their tools release
unto all, inspiring words both joy and pain, to!.!.!.!.

I also spend time reworking what I write!. Sometimes I also have to step away for awhile to let dust decide if continued effort is worthy!. This is worthy, but you need more time with it in my opinion!.Www@QuestionHome@Com