Your thoughts on my poem please? Opinions only, I will not change my poem.?

Question: Your thoughts on my poem please!? Opinions only, I will not change my poem!.!?

I behold a vivid country,
With no ruler set as shown!.
With a rising population of,
Thoughts and do's that roam!.

From beginning up till now,
Yet more-so now than then!.
Controversy's stirred up vex
And this country must learn zen!.

Thou art teach me discipline!?
But bring color to my eyes!?
Thou art show me right from wrong!?
Yet far from picking sides!?

Thou art keepeth me from lows!?
But don't keep me long in highs!.
My country's cold to hearts so,
That's born to quickly die!.

I wish to care, on my own
My country I posses!.
Improve and love thy kingdom,
And as do for all the rest!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:

I love it! It rhymes beautifully! What is it titled!?Www@QuestionHome@Com

Wow,totally amazing !.!.!. i would give you a star for that poem !.!.!.You are so,so talented!.!.!. Did you write that!? its great!Www@QuestionHome@Com

I like it!! I think it's really good!. Keep writing!! :DWww@QuestionHome@Com

WOW THAT'S BRILLIANT AND AMAZING!!!!!!!

so amazing it is just overwhelminng in a good way!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

boring!.!.!.I lost interest and didn't finish reading it to its entirety!.

note: it's not that I don't like Poetry though!.!.!.I do!Www@QuestionHome@Com

Nice, it kind of feels like I am taking a vow or an oath when i read it aloud!. Your obviously very talented!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

I really like it--keep up the good work!Www@QuestionHome@Com

WOW I REALLY LIKED IT

Well done it was greatWww@QuestionHome@Com

It's ok, just!.!.!.needs to rhyme!.
But anyway it's beautifulWww@QuestionHome@Com

i really liked it, you did a good job, and I hope to hear more from you and koolcatt7!Www@QuestionHome@Com

i love it!Www@QuestionHome@Com

There are mistakes in this!. "Thou art teach me" makes no sense, because it means "You are teach me!." Same goes for the rest of the "thou art"s, the verbs are in the wrong tenses!. Instead, say "thou art teaching me", "thou shalt teach me," or maybe even "thou doth teach me!." That doesn't work!. The last line is confusing too, which makes for a bizarre finish!. I like your ideas and your core verses are solid, but the sentence structure throws it off!.
In any case, I know you said you aren't going to change it, but if you plan on doing anything with it, (e!.g!. handing it in for homework or something) edit it first!.Www@QuestionHome@Com