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Question: Poerm =| rate!?
Everyone always talks about the kids of the future,
But what about the kids of the past!?
The ones who need help
The ones that don’t last
Were all so caught up
In the rich and in ourselves
We seem to forget
Those who need our help
What about the hurricane victims!?
The warriors who fell
What about the African children
That everyday, go through hell
If we all dwell on the future
We forget the now
One day there here
The next day gone some how
Covered up by the movie stars
And the news and the gossip
We forget to care
About people who aren’t there
Forgotten,
We never see
Replaced,
By us, the freeWww@QuestionHome@Com
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
Well i think it has serious potential but everytime i started to get into it the purpose of the poem would change and it would throw me off, i suggest it needs some order changes and you need to asses the real meaning you are trying to convay!. I really liked the idea and a lot of it though!Www@QuestionHome@Com
I have been writing poetry for about 4 years- my best advice is to not try to rhyme!.!.!. Write what comes into your head, let it lay somewhere for maybe 2 or 3 weeks and then go back to it- revise, improve, etc!.
It's better to think about details!.!.!. Write about something personal!!
The kids in Africa ARE a sad issue, but you are not one of them, so you can't really know!.
Write about something YOU are a part of!.
:) Good luck!!Www@QuestionHome@Com
wow!.!.!.okay seriously something has really been bugging me and on my mind lately and i just figured it out what it was!.!.!.you put my thoughts into words and that is a really hard thing to do! great job! wow im stunned right now!.!.!.i have no advice or critique to offer you this poem is perfect 10 out of 10 i am obsessed with it lol definetly gonna save this one! THANKYOU for sharing!.
wow my minds all jumbled now im lost in thoughts!.
xxWww@QuestionHome@Com
I love this poem!. And to me, It would make an excellent song!. It really does open up my mind and, it makes me think about the worlds problems, thank you!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
It's not deep because your stating something everyone knows, with no metaphors involved!. Everyone seems to like it so much because it rhymes either then that it really just doesn't make me think!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
I love it! That was moving, inspiring, and actually rhymed! I'd give it a ten out of ten!Www@QuestionHome@Com
wow that was really goodWww@QuestionHome@Com
cool but not deepWww@QuestionHome@Com