Care to comment on my pantoum?

Question: Care to comment on my pantoum!?

Why can't you open up to me!?
You're special and I care for you!.
We know it isn't hard to see!.
I'll show you life you never knew!.

You're special and I care for you!.
Must I unlock a reason why!?
I'll show you life you never knew!.
What's so sad about one goodbye!?

Must I unlock a reason why!?
We know it isn't hard to see!.
What's so sad about one goodbye!?
Why can't you open up to me!?

-swoosh

Critiques/ Comments!?Www@QuestionHome@Com

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:

It's very nice, but too short unless there is such a thing as a three stanza pantoum!. Usually they are five stanza long!.
Check this out: http://www!.elfwood!.com/farp/thewriting/2!.!.!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Swoosh - pearls before swine! I won't say more on that!.

This is perfect!. How you managed to get it to sound so flowing with the restrictions of a pantoum I don't know!. I an inspired to try one myself!. Is the secret to make sure each sentence can exist by itself!? Then, of course you must concentrate on one message - if you change, then the choppiness sets in!.

Thanks for reminding me of these!.
Well doneWww@QuestionHome@Com

Did you notice that the last two stanzas are the same but rearranged!? I don't like it!. I don't think it's unique or special in any way and the repition makes me sick!. No offense!. >:)Www@QuestionHome@Com

It might make a good song!. The lyrics are a little repetitious and that works in that form!. Light but effective!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Well, it's interesting!. I think you can rework it a little and it would be better!. You do repeat things!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

I think it's ok!.
There doesn't seem to be much depth to it!.
More like a letter to someone!.
Just my opinion!.
Nice:)Www@QuestionHome@Com