Will you please comment?

Question: Will you please comment!?

As you and I walk hand in hand
We chit chat about many things
Family, future, hopes, dreams, and us
Finding new ways to share this life

We chit chat about many things
From every end of the spectrum
Trying to find out how "we" work
also leaving no stone unturned

Family, future, hopes, dreams, and us
All these things we have in common
Always wanting to move forward
We strive for the same things in life

Finding new ways to share this life
I show you things that interest me
You show me my true potential
Together we are perfectionWww@QuestionHome@Com

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:

Excellent Retourne!. You are becoming an expert at structured poetry!. I sigh in relief at seeing some of the wonderful poetry being posted lately on this site!. Your poem's message is one of optimism, but watch out for perfection, it doesn't last!. I once broke up with a guy who told me, "So far, you're perfect!." That was the last time I ever spoke to him!!Www@QuestionHome@Com

It does not make me want to read it again!. I think when a poem is good you sometimes want to read it a second time so the words roll over you like a cool refreshing breeze!.
I find the iambic pentameter so boring and common!. Keep practicing and do not force it!. Poetry is an art and it takes time to develop unless you have the gift!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

i think it needs a lot of work!. using phrases like "chit chat" can be cute, but only if used once and in the right spot!. you repeat words and don't have the strongest vocab!. perhaps rewrite it!. it was not horrible so don't be discouraged!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

I gotta hand it to you, you choose topics that really interest me!. I read a lot of unique poetry and some of it is often times difficult to catch!. Don't get me wrong, this poem is still unique, but I guess to me it's just so!.!.!.refreshing to hear (and even learn from)!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Not one of your better efforts!. In addition to the comments above, all of them valid, there are so many cliches here!. I have said before that love makes teenagers of us all!. So take heart, maybe it's not a great poem, but it sure sounds like a great love!.

**Www@QuestionHome@Com

Retourne to me, my love!. This is an amazing one, but I was too lazy to syllable check you, but I doubt that there are any indescrepancies in that department!. Overall, I thought it a beautiful ode to love!. Thank you for sharing!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

I think that it definitley needs some work, but it has potential!. You should just throw out the part that says, and us!.!.!. It just messes with the meter and, frankly, doesn't make sense!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

I have some new styles for you to try!.!.!.

Tyburn, Rispetto, and you'll love this one, Terzanelle!.
Let me know what you think!.!.!.!.

*I show you things that interest me!.!.!.she smiles*

TemariWww@QuestionHome@Com

Chit Chat was used a few to many times but it was good to me!. really sweet though!.
God Bless!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

I think it's a lovely poem!.
I'm truly happy for you both!.
True love is hard to find, and hold onto!.
Nice work:)Www@QuestionHome@Com

dam what everyone else talking about!.!.!.!.!.!.!.it;s beautiful and i feel it, a lot!! ;)Www@QuestionHome@Com