How can I improve this dreaming poem?

Question: How can I improve this dreaming poem!?

Dreaming of You
by Elaine P

As couples lay abed last night
I dreamed I had you here,
I dreamed we traveled far away
Beyond the atmosphere!.

I looked into your loving eyes
And thought “this is not true,”
I knew my dreams were telling lies,
How could I be with you!?

You wrote me poetry that soared
But never will they see,
Our secrets always will be stored
As my sweet memory!.!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:

*****
I rattle on my tambourine
With tassels pink and green
I tune guitars and violins
Inside my Martian dream

I sit and serenade for you
A song with longing words
Refrains with lusty overtones
Crescendo, quite absurd

I sing my solo opera
From Brooklyn to the moon
I beat a drum of thoughtfulness
Play love on the bassoon

Before we land
Please take my hand
Our ship has run its course
Safely here, on Martian sand
I'll honor you with verse

*****
For Elaine, my Champion!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

This is so nice!. I read it and immediately see that it can be meant for anyone!. As I read, it seems you are talking to me, and as someone else reads, it will seem to be for them!. If your name was AlanP instead of ElaineP, then the ladies could take it as meant for them!. It is universal in concept and execution, and epitomizes the essence of true poetry!. Thank you for writing such a wonderful piece!. See you on Mars tonight in our dreams!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

As couples lay abed last night
I dreamed I had you here,
I dreamed we traveled far away
Beyond the atmosphere!.

I looked into your loving eyes
And thought “this is not true,”
I knew my dreams were telling lies,
How could I be with you!?

You wrote me poetry that soared
But never will they see,
Our secrets always will be stored
As my sweet memory!.!.

That is how you should improve the poem!.!.!.!.!.!.!.what's that you say!? I didn't make any corrections!? Therein lies my answer!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

You ask a tough question because after looking at this for some time I don't see anything to change!.

I especially like "Beyond the atmosphere!." (cool phrasing)

So, the best I can say is thanks for the read it looks like a strong piece to me!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Perhaps in some sweet day beyond,
we'll meet among the stars,
the poetry you wrote for me
will come to life on Mars!.

I felt the need to respond poetically!. Thank you so much for this beautiful dreaming poem!. I think it needs no improvement!. Thank you!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

As a tear falls from my eyes, I must say this needs no improvement!. It is touching and emotional!. I think of either a sad widow or a newly divorced woman, longing for the love she lost!. Beautiful!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

It's a very lovely poem and I love that feeling you share, but I do want to mention one thing!. The last stanza does not have the same meter and the first and second!. Not that it changes the beauty of the poem!. It's still a wonderful poem!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

I shall leave this poem for Keats to comment!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.

and he says

"A thing of beauty is a joy forever"

beautiful Elaine!.!.!.!.this is made of soft feathers!.!.!.and is a joy forever!Www@QuestionHome@Com

It's beautiful Elaine, needs no improvementWww@QuestionHome@Com

You wrote me poetry that soared
But never will they see,
Our secrets always will be stored
Hidden in memory!.!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Alright, I give up! I tried to rearrange a few words in my head as I read trying to find something to "help you" improve!. Drat! Well done again!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

this a beautiful poem no need for improvement, dont change anything!.

all the bestWww@QuestionHome@Com

I don't this it needs any improvement!. I like it as it is!. The only thing you could do, is write another dreaming one!Www@QuestionHome@Com

*cries silently*

This is a great poem!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

it is perfect leave it!.Www@QuestionHome@Com