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Question: What's your criticism of my poem!?
A droplet, A Journey

A drop, tumbles off a flimsy leaf!.
Plunging through the sea of air,
Then spatters onto the rough, lush grass!.
The water then disperses into the ground,
Enveloped by the rich, clean soil

The water then approaches a white worm,
Slithering its way through, eating moisture!.
The drop is then vacuumed up,
Up through the damp tree once again,
Sweeping through the trunks’ backbone!.

Through the fat, chilly spine of the tree!.
The drop slowly, sickingly courses through the branch!.
Gliding along the arm’s vein!.
To return to the flimsy, unstable leaf!.
Where it will end it’s trek back home!.

? 2008 Nemo

I want strictly constructive criticism on this, even if it's just one word choice!. I really want to see how well i can make this poem, I've revised it several times before finally posting on here so I'd like to hear anything i may have missed!.

~sig~
7 days without soccer makes one weakWww@QuestionHome@Com


Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
I can't really see anything to critique here!.
When I read it the first sounded more like a book than a poem!.!.!.!.hard to explain!.!.!.!.!.
ex!.
instead of saying then splatters
maybe say something like as it splatters!.
Just my opinion!.
Nice work Nemo:)Www@QuestionHome@Com

Is it really written by uyou

http://www!.vvaibhavv!.blogspot!.com/

is good !.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.Www@QuestionHome@Com