Position:Home>Poetry> Is this decent, poemwise?
Question: Is this decent, poemwise!?
IDENTITY CRISIS
Why the tears
in my eyes!?
You ask!.
Don't believe me
when i tell you!.
Why won't you
talk to me!?
You whisper!.
Some things are
too fragile for words!.
Why won't you
listen to me!?
You beg!.
If i did,
my heart would break!.
I don't know
who you are anymore!.
You say!.
Apparently, i don't
either!.
What do you think
you are doing!?
You plead!.
What i do,
i do for you!.
Are you out of your mind,
are you insane!?
You exclaim!.
Yes, i love you!.
i am!.
Author's Note: The fact that the "I" is not capitalized is intentional!. It is in no way a grammatical error on my part!. Thank you!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
This is fantastic!. I love it!. A keeper, indeed!. I love the dialogue!. The lines, '!.!.!. you whisper' and '!.!.!.some things are too fragile for words' are excellent!. I understand deeply this poem!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
I think the ambiguity regarding which of the two is speaking is the whole point!. It might even be an internal dialogue!. I used to think that men were unconscious jerks when it came to perceiving other people's emotions!. But I learned to my chagrin that this is not a gender-specific quality!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
It took me a minute to clue in that you were going back and forth between two people!. Maybe the use of quotation marks would help the reader!. That being said I quite liked it!.
It has a delicate feeling, almost like the steps of a praying mantis!. It is well done and strong!. Very good!.
Thanks for sharing!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
I actually really really like it!.
Leave it the way it is, with the spaces!.
That's my favorite part, the new lines!.
I'm amazed with this poem!. Usually on answers you find the dullest poetry, but I really love it!.
Good job!Www@QuestionHome@Com
yes it evokes great feeling from withinWww@QuestionHome@Com
I think this is beautiful!Www@QuestionHome@Com
I am taken in my while, I have seen some really good work here, but this one just frys me!. I love it!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
well, im sure glad i decided to be an orange,
instead of that apple!.!.!. :)Www@QuestionHome@Com
Sounds good to me!Www@QuestionHome@Com
I like the authors note and I think I get what your trying to represent!. It's a great poem!. Very deep =)Www@QuestionHome@Com