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Position:Home>Poetry> A short poem , do you like it?Question: A short poem , do you like it!? Lone soldier
A city stands in the far West With greying walls wailing unrest Where death took throne upon her seas Gulfs of morbid, mother’s grieves Chewed angels and rotting disease-- Tear the rotting flesh, it heaves Blood engraved within these leaves The only standing of all trees-- Mine, the most horrid of all dreamsWww@QuestionHome@Com Best Answer - Chosen by Asker: This I am mixed on!. Lines like: gulfs of morbid, mother's grieve and the only standing of all trees were puzzling!. Then the word rotting appearing twice in short sequence stopped me!. Some strong words like: chewed angels and blood engraved!.!.!.!.leaves made great images!. The poem has merit, perhaps some reflection and editing to make it shine!.Www@QuestionHome@Com A rhymed couplet, followed by 7 lines of identically rhymed verse!.!.!.it's too much for my ear!.!.!.!.really!. You need to break up the rhymed words with unrhymed lines or alternate lines with a different rhyme sound!. The poem itself might have potential, but the rhyme scheme you've chosen takes too much away from the message!. !.!.!.but keep writingWww@QuestionHome@Com honestly i believe this would have the utmost meaning to you because you know where in your heart this has come from but to perhaps many outsiders we wouldnt grip the sense of it because it sound slike to me trauma you have gone through ut doesnt apply to meWww@QuestionHome@Com i liked itWww@QuestionHome@Com |