Position:Home>Poetry> Can anyone help me with my poem Please!?
Question: Can anyone help me with my poem Please!!?
My name is Jacky Mao,
In grade eleven I am now,
How I got here I don't know how,
but its just amazing, its like WOW
Being Jacky I tend to fail a lot,
the reason to it!? Well, I forgot,
maybe it’s just how I was taught,
But I like to put bills in coin slots,
A Joule per second!? Why that’s a Watt,
I got owned while riding a safety bike,
But no excuses, I can’t even fly a kite,
You say I’m pretty tall, but I can’t spike
Batting balls I only strike out,
I always quit when in doubt
Sorry if im terrible
But i just dont know how to transit it from one stanza onto another
tips would be nice this poem is meant to be funnyWww@QuestionHome@Com
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
my name is jacky mao
im in the 11th grade now
how i got here i dont know
but its amazing, its like WOW
being jacky i tend to fail a lot
the reason to it!?
well i forgot
maybe its just how i learned
put bills in coin slots, but they wont turn
i got owned while riding a bike
but no excuses,
i cant even fly a kite
you say im pretty tall
and thats way out
but i always quite when im in doubt
you are putting too much rhyme into each stanza, you need to give it a break!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
Dear Jacky
Perhaps these suggestions will help you!.
Keep it to four lines per stanza!.
2nd stanza 2nd line "the reason for it!?"
4th and 5th lines leave out and substitute with "Or maybe all the kids I fought!?"
3rd stanza leave out 4th and 5th lines and substitute "Baseball, always out third strike"!.
For the time being stick to four line verses, and try and make every 1st and 3rd rhyme, also 2nd and 4th!. Try not to have all lines ending in the same rhyming sound!.
My best to you poet!.
RobertWww@QuestionHome@Com
This poem is not entirely without merit, rather it lacks the requisite sophistication to distinuish it from other such generic works!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
hmmm!.!.!.
well you know it doesn't HAVE to rhyme!. if it didn't it might make it flow more and it would be easier to write :]Www@QuestionHome@Com
LOL!!!!! That was funny!!!!Www@QuestionHome@Com