How can I improve my poem about existential angst?

Question: How can I improve my poem about existential angst!?

Youth and Old Age
by Elaine P

The young suffer existential angst,
Fried eggs in a window,
"L'enfer, c'est les autres,"
"School sucks!."

The old suffer from reminiscence
Time without meaning,
Planting of gardens,
Days with lovers on the beach!.

Life is a process,
Darkness and light,
A moibus strip of cliches,
Mayflies dancing on a pond!.

It is all we have!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:

It is already a well written piece!.!.!.!.!.and i agree with TD!.!.!.!.it can be improved by publishing it!.!.!.so it could please many!.!.!.!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Honestly, I don't think you can improve this poem!. The angst is very subtle, which I imagine must be the key trademark of the style!. Otherwise you would immediately be written off as "emo" and discredited as a poet!. This, however, I heard the soft lyric strains of a piano playing, and the players hand was all I could see, starting out as a child's with stubby fingers, moving to a young woman's, then coated with age spots with bones and veins showing through translucent skin!. But what mattered was that the melody always remained the same, unchanging, eternal!. The beginning is the end, the end the beginning!.

It is all I know!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

You can't - I love it just as it is!.

I love it when I read something, and I have to think!.!.!.!.what does that mean!? What does this mean!? And ultimately sometimes even when I have no answer I am pleased that I have been made to think (what else is there to do at my age =)
I had no idea what the fried eggs referred to - but, guessed it must have a significance to those in the know!.

(I wouldn't say I suffer from reminiscence - apart from the occasional twinge in my heart)
Lovely, lovely poem!.
(ps RussellG is back)Www@QuestionHome@Com

I have a book I couldn't read until I figured out the meaning of existentialism! But anyways, I don't understand about "Fried eggs in a window" What does that mean!? Sorry this isn't a good answer, but I am curious!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

I think I'm stuck in the middle for now!. I still suffer existential angst and suffer from reminiscence, but like you said, "live is a process"!. It's just a matter of hacking your way though!.
Wonderful and elegant poem!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Change the line about, ''Time without meaning", because it does not reflect the line, "Life is a process"Www@QuestionHome@Com

A thoughtful differ upon the ages, of life, light, dark, time and
their over view!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

The only critique would be a better title as it is to me the only weakness displayed!. Well done!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

I think this can be improved by publication!. Very well done! TDWww@QuestionHome@Com

I use xanax for my angst!. It seems to work!. Good poem too!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Existential angst
is what we're up against!.
Just fill in all the blankst
And eat some beans and frankst!.Www@QuestionHome@Com