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Question: A sad reminisce!?
Like Footsteps in the Sand
Faded, these footsteps now
sand moves to cover them!.
Does wind bear laughter gone!?
Or carry sounds of two!?
The surf roars its calling
a lullaby for mind today!.
Deep waters bring it forth
deeper my thoughts of you!.
Those were days, distant now
but memories, faded not!.
Time had no meaning then
the rhythms, heartbeats true!.
Lonely shell… left to wait
till next tide or hand moves
I see you hand reaching,
now I see only shell…
Steps of one walks this sand,
lonely shadow follows!.
What once we shared…now gone
washed by tides of time!.
Like footsteps… it the sand!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
For every thing there is a season, a time for cliche and a time for originality!. A time for trenchant words, and a time for stale banality!. A time for oratory declamatory, and a time for moments that are amatory, a time for words both crisp and terse, and a time for such long-winded, rambling crap like this and all the other stuff we think is clever, illuminating and elegant but ain't!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
A very poignant poem which those of us who have loving relationships dread!. Nicely put!.
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There are one or two minor blibs - (aren't there always!?)
Can sand cover footsteps!? You hear footsteps, shouldn't it be footprints!?
I see you hand reaching!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.your!?
Steps of one walk - (not walks)
in the sand - (obviously a typo)
Hope these little points will help to create a perfect poemWww@QuestionHome@Com
Lonely shell… left to wait
till next tide or hand moves
I see you hand reaching,
now I see only shell…
Is the third line supposed to be your hand!? Either case, I have just taken a long walk on a beach in the middle of the morning!. Thank you!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
I live on an island and so can relate to your imagery!. "Time had no meaning then," resonates with meaning for me!. I have also experienced what the poet describes and my heart reaches out to him!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
This is beatiful! "Does wind bear laughter gone-or carry sounds of two" We are in deed connected to the elements!.
also brings thought of the poem "Foot Prints In The Sand"
As well the "gulf" of memories!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
Your words have described my feelings, this lonely morning!. Memories, which are now sad, fill my being!. You'll have to write a happy poem to get me out of this funk !.!.!. your poem is perfect!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
A rather sad poem looking back at a better past !. I enjoyed the honesty in your words and the way you wrote this very well done !.Www@QuestionHome@Com
when your true love can never be with youWww@QuestionHome@Com