Last poem for the night. Kind of long but worth the read. Check it out.?

Question: Last poem for the night!. Kind of long but worth the read!. Check it out!.!?

"pretty poison"

She danced right in my life,
snapped my neck around!.
Big dark eyes, darker skin,
I was completely paralyzed!.

I knew that she was danger,
It was written all over her!.
She was pretty poison,
deadly as she could be!.

She swore just like a sailor,
it only turned me on!.
Knew what she was doing,
Her game was very strong!.

Before I knew it happened,
trapped inside her web!.
Hips that moved like a snake,
I knew that I was through!.

She got me way too easy,
Smart and deadly too!.
I knew it, I saw it come,
like a railroad train at night!.

I stood there like a deer,
frozen by my fright!.
She had her way and used me,
like I never had before!.

She walked into my life,
I'll never be the same!.
Every man encounters,
their own poison girl!.

The very only difference,
The way she leaves you
when she's done!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:

very hypnotic and seductive, just as cool character as the subject of "black # 1" and by the way I love your more lengthy poems!. You seem to have more invested in them from your spiritual treasury!. 'Nite!.!.!. I am posting something a little experimental so will you read and tell me your thoughts about it!?Www@QuestionHome@Com

use more discripive and analogical diction, the sentenses need to fit together or their needs to be a ryme scheem to connect the lines !. the last stanza needs to be expanded!. if you have a meter which i think you do to a small extent you may want to refine it a little bit!.

Other then that the poem is good and i like the Poison girl theme its quite catchy!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

wow, you seem to have posted this one a little too late at night, you have managed to attract a whole slew of scum sucking, mush moufed, inbred trolls to answer you!. I for one thought it pretty good!. I wonder how many of the trolls have their work in legitimate print!.!.!.!.!.!. Keep doing what it is that you do so well!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

I loved this poem as it was absolutely wonderful as your descriptions were so very vivid and i laughed as i have had a poison in my life too ' but wow what a night it was lol great poem!.!. Have a great night as you have been penning your soul out today,!.!. !.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Deep, you seem not only intimidated, but touched emotionally by this "person" !. Poetry comes from a place that "YOU" create, not what the "POPULATION" expects!.!.!.!. Keep it up!. and speak from the heart, not only the mind!.!.!. ZariaWww@QuestionHome@Com

weak!. its just a bunch of lines!. poetry is best when its deep and has meaning!. this has neither!. plus you didnt even rhyme so it doesnt even show you have any type of skill!. no offense tho of course!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

A very passionate encounter!. I have never experienced 'pretty poison'!. Perhaps, everyone needs to once in their life!. There's much to learn about yourself from such a person!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

I love the contradiction of "PRETTY POISON"!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

I like it, b/c it is a good poem everything made sense and it wasn't really that long!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Dunny poetryWww@QuestionHome@Com

wow u call that a poem u suk dude!.!.!.try hader but this poem is so gay!.!.!.!.i think u can do much better!.!.!.!.!.KHARTTTTTTTTTTTTTTThhahahahha!.!.!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

I'd call it "Black Venom"!.Www@QuestionHome@Com