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Question: How's my poem!?!.!.!.!?
I know this poem isn't that good, because I entered it in a contest and it didn't nearly win!. But I was just wondering what other people thought about it!. I never thought I would post one of my poems on Yahoo answers; I was wrong!.
Kitchen Bash
Swivel twist with a flick of the wrist
Elbows inching in boiling hot crisp
Bombarding booms that knock over brooms
Vanilla pie, lathered white whip that makes tongues drip
Glossy china soil and soak
Just like old country folk
Deep inside the bumbling foamy sink
Taps of feet in a blink
Boom, click, bang, wham!
Nothing’s the same when you try the lamb
Exhilarating whiffs of crisp mouth watering food
Letting your nostrils slip in the mood
Sizzling patties on the grill
Smoking smothering for the thrill
High above plates tall and askew
The main dish – waiting till’ tim buck two
Climbing and scuttling to the top
The saucers slant from side to side
Till finally – pop!
There goes the cake round and flat
Just like that in a splat!Www@QuestionHome@Com
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
Please do not give up!. Certainly not because you failed to nearly win a competition!.
Is competition WHY you write !? I think not!. You write I suspect because you feel it 'in you'!.
Poets are not 'competent' or even 'grammatical' as a necessity!.
Poetry is music without instruments except for your brain and your soul and your art - three really pseudo instruments if ever there was!.
Stick to it and good luck!.
" -waiting till' tim buck two" Yummy !Www@QuestionHome@Com
It has potential!.
Just remember that practice makes perfect!.
How could you honestly let a contest ruin it for you!?
I totally understand being sad, but not quitting!.
When you write for yourself and not someone else you will be amazed with what you can create!. You do have talent!.
I hope you don't stop writing!.
Nice:)Www@QuestionHome@Com
Much better than the last one you posted you appear to be improving well!.
Don't let people stop you writing crazy poems that is what life is about, feel free to express your inner uniqueness!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
Urm not badWww@QuestionHome@Com
quite good!.!.!.!.!.made me feel hungry towards the end!.!.!.!.!.keep writing !.!.!.practice makes perfect!.!.!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
This is great fun, and you obviously have an ear for rhythm and sounds!. Don't let a crummy old competition discourage you!
One suggestion: if you're going to use rhyme (and this poem certainly gains from its use) then search a bit longer for a completely appropriate one!. Sometimes the rhymes here seem a bit forced: "Taps of feet in a blink" seems to be there just for the rhyme with "sink"!.
And how do nostrils "slip in the mood"!? Mine are static, you see!.
You will no doubt keep on writing!. You have the knack!.
Best wishes!.Www@QuestionHome@Com