2 versions of the same poems. which do you prefer (if either)?

Question: 2 versions of the same poems!. which do you prefer (if either)!?

The day

The day!. The hot bright day!.
The hot bright fish out of water
Gasping for breath day!. The day
Like a fire point of a magnifying
Day!. The line of demarcation
Day !. The day everything came
After day

The day

Fish out of water gasping for breath
Oppressively bright and arid!. A fire
Point of a magnifying glass blazing
It’s way through august !. A line of
Demarcation!. The day everything
Came after!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:

I like the first one!. It has more fiery emotion and more word context!. It emits more explanation in a more passionate way!.!.!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

I like the repetition in poetry, but I do not like how much you repeat the word 'day' in the first poem!. I like the second one's metaphors and similes!.

The second one, in my opinion, is the better one!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

I like the 2nd one better!. However, August needs to be capitalized and other than a fish being out of water on a hot day, I don't fully understand what's happening here!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

I like the 2nd one because the repitition of 'day' in the first one is slighty tiring!. Did u write these there really nice!. Good luck with choosing :)!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

second one definetly :)
i absoutley love the word choice
good jobWww@QuestionHome@Com

The second one!.!.!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

1st one!. IDK I really like that one WAAAAY better!!!!!!Www@QuestionHome@Com

hmm!.!.!.!.!.ther both good and im gonna have to go with number 2 i like the bestWww@QuestionHome@Com

the second one sounds better to meWww@QuestionHome@Com