| Question Home |
Position:Home>Poetry> A late-afternoon poem, what do you think?Question: A late-afternoon poem, what do you think!? Scary Musings
Are you truly reading my words Put upon this page Created by my hand!? Or are you imagining them, Are they creations of neurons firing Firing in your mind, Creating the illusion of my existence My words And the product of my time!? It frightens me to think the latter, That I could be Merely A spark across the bridge In the cells of another’s mind!. But then I think In imagination What if the same I do: What if I’m the creator And I have imagined you!?Www@QuestionHome@Com Best Answer - Chosen by Asker: I wrote the same exact identical poem last Tuesday!. To paraphrase Rene Descartes (another of my inventions), "You think, therefore you think you is!."Www@QuestionHome@Com I like this very much - it reminds me of me when I was younger!. I would think, suppose people only exist when I am with them, but they don't have any existence away from me!? I think I was perfectly sane - I just had an enquiring mind!. The poem flows beautifully along (What if the same I do - is a little awkward - I reckon it could be left out, even tho' you would lose the 'do' 'you' rhyme!.Www@QuestionHome@Com It's mystical, and makes you think!. Just from a writers pov, the 1st "firing" could be omitted, as to leave "Are they creations of neurons, firing in your mind" But like I said, i'm a writer, and that's just my opinion!. This is overall a nice, powerful piece of work!. Do you just write poetry, or are you well rounded in the writing field!? Check out http://www!.helium!.com I think you'd enjoy it!.Www@QuestionHome@Com Bravo!. i think this poem to be perfect!. I would not change a thing!. I'm not fond of beginning lines with words like and, or using the same word twice "What" in the last stanza!. Other than that I LOVE IT!.Www@QuestionHome@Com I like it!. I believe you put into words (somewhat at least) a question that most writers should think of at some point and time, and then expanded on, creating a piece deep, mysterious and poetic!.Www@QuestionHome@Com ooh!.!.!.very scary!. yes, the first "firing" could be cut!. also!.!.!.i would change "latter" to "last", purely to satisfy my mental reading rhythm!. also, i think your syntax is a bit wrenched in the 3rd-last line!.Www@QuestionHome@Com Relax, we are all neatly stacked boxes on shelves in large warehouses!. The Matrix is closer than you think!. Just ask Fox and Mulder!. Meanwhile, your words flowed well, or should I have said fired!?Www@QuestionHome@Com Have you been studying Zen Buddhism!? What's the difference, as long as we think we're real!? So what if we're a speck in a giant alien's ring!? Great poem; I enjoy poems that make the reader reflect!.Www@QuestionHome@Com Who am IWww@QuestionHome@Com you better stop writing poem sonieWww@QuestionHome@Com |