Poem i wrote! plz read!!!?

Position:Home>Poetry> Poem i wrote! plz read!!!?

Question:

The Doe
By Georgia Hammond

She runs so fast but leaves no track
Each foot against the ground
With legs so strong and beautiful
Yet no hoof makes a sound
Her fur, a brown, a brown so deep
A brown to match her eyes
And when she runs across the land
She chases the sunrise
Near by watches a creature
Watching as the deer ran
His eyes were pitiless and red
A beast, a fiend, a man
The doe, the man, their eyes, they met
The brown into the red
And just before the man could shoot
The doe, she turned and fled
The world vanished beneath her feet
Cold steel in her head
And just like that with out warning
Life’s great beauty, dead
And the legs that once ran over hills
Lay tangled and lay cold
Now she lies dead upon the grass
The doe that stood so boldWww@QuestionHome@Com

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:

I like the poem in the way that it describes the moment very well!. It's sad that the deer died!. I'm not a fan of hunting for pleasure!. Food OK, but just for a trophy-no!. The meter could use a little work!. It's suppose to have a rhythm to it and a certain beat that it's off by just a little!. It needs another word in some places to get the beat!. For example--------

The world vanished beneath her---
Cold steel inside her head----

the- world-van-ished-be-neath-her-
cold-steel-in-side-her-head-

Do you see what I mean!?
I'm not sure if I'm getting this across to you right but maybe someone else can explain it better then I!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Oh my!. What a beautiful, sad, poem!. As I read it I could just see this beautiful animal and then!.!.!.her demise :(!.

This poem is so exceptional it took my breath away!.

Thanks so much for sharing!Www@QuestionHome@Com