A straight love poem from The Dark Prince. How did I do.?

Question: A straight love poem from The Dark Prince!. How did I do!.!?

"promise me"

Standing here, next to me,
no one else we can see!.
People with no desire,
not one heart beats with fire!.

My heart beats, just for you,
depths we'll reach, have no clue!.
Embrace me, hold me tight,
Kiss me deep, sweet delight!.

We make love, become one,
time on earth, halfway done!.
Our love pure, like fresh rain,
love's desire, tastes the same!.

Yours to hold, this my heart,
love we have, thats our start!.
Whisper please, in my ear,
we'll make love, all our years!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:

Everyone seems to like your "light' side!. I actually like your
"dark"side!. When you write your lighter poems, they seem
very forced!. Like your doing It to prove something to everyone
When you write your darker poems It seems to just flood out!.
You scream out the real truth!. Nothing held back!. And I know It`s true because I can feel It!. I think It`s good to let the skit hit
the fan!. I know It sounds a little gorey sometimes but the truth
Is painful!. Not for the squemish!. One day you should write a
book of poems about your past!. I will be the first to read It!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

the scanning of it [ beats per line and rhythm] could be improved slightly but nice imagery - look at a thesaurus to get some lesser rhymes improved!.!.!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

It is quite a love poem, and your girlfriend should feel the love your pour out to her!. It's almost, "here, I give you the sky to see forever, the lake to play and have all your needs met!.!."

Perfection!. You achieved what you wanted!Www@QuestionHome@Com

You did very good!.
I like this one alot!.
Nice work:)Www@QuestionHome@Com

I'm glad to see you writing a love poem!. This one is very good!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

As I have said before, you have talent for writing much more than the dark poetry we see!. You have done well here, and although the 6 beats in each line tend to make it a bit jerky, the language used makes it fit quite nicely!. Good Job!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Even a simple poem can be very beautiful!. I like it!. The girl is so lucky!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

I liked it, very romantic poem man :)
good and simple poem but effective!
I liked the phrase like fresh rain, i dont know why i just did!.!.!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

GOOD POEM YOUR A GOOSD WRITEING KEEP WRITEING LOVE POEM S YOUR GOOD AT IT!!Www@QuestionHome@Com

I think the poem could be improved by jumping straight in with the second verse (especially as the first verse is ambiguous!.!.!.!.is it you and your partner who have no desire and fire, or is it the unseen people!? And if it is you and your ptnr it seems to be saying that your love is passionless)

I like it when you turn away from the dark side!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

A beautiful love poem!. No darkness here!. Only brightness and the light of love - eternal love!. This poem's a keeper!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

I think you did very well !. I am sure it is hard to go from writing dark poems into themes of love and you were up to the task !. Good luck :)Www@QuestionHome@Com

@)~>~Beautiful work@)~>~Www@QuestionHome@Com