Position:Home>Poetry> This is a poem I wrote as an epic. I trimmed over 2/3 of the words. How is this
Question: This is a poem I wrote as an epic!. I trimmed over 2/3 of the words!. How is this now!.!?
"scars redux"
Tears run down my tiny face,
memories with every trace!.
Secrets hidden deep inside,
I hoped to hell I'd never find!.
Just trying to live, or survive,
ever since I turned age five!.
Screamed until I was hoarse,
the priest of course, no remorse!.
My life's been a long slow slide,
God the tears, how much I cried!.
Inflicting pain so I just could feel,
scars I have, that will never heal!.
I feel like there's one way left,
to hell with it, and all the rest!.
Cuts and burns ravish my skin,
does the end ever begin!?
I was much too young to know,
still the horror seems to grow!.
Forgive, forget, I'm really trying,
deep inside my soul is dying!.!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
Fantastic!. You performed perfect surgery!. The poem reads beautifully!. Each word meaningful!. Each line so telling!. You are a surgeon of poetry - lol - with a successful outcome!. Well done!. A+ for you!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
I like the emotion in it, but the last line is a bit cliche!. Overall, not a bad poem!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
I really need to poop!. not because of ur epic poem or anything, i just really need to poopWww@QuestionHome@Com
he pooped and it smelt baaaad!
i would know because i'm his roommate!.
it's sad!. yes!Www@QuestionHome@Com
Very pretty!.
Remember, don't compromise any bit of the meaning for the rhyme!.
That aside, do you have any idea how long an epic poem is!?Www@QuestionHome@Com
I like this even though the last line is a bit cliched !. I don't mean to criticize but I have read some of your poems and I prefer the shorter ones !. They seem to be more engaging Keep writing and good luck :)Www@QuestionHome@Com
Forget them up there!. I understand you!. You were way too young !.If I had a magic wand, I would wish It all away!.
Sorry Margueri, I didn`t mean you!. I meant the other dweebs!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
Loved this'n DP <3
(where the h*ll are these yidiots coming from!?!?!?)
Never you mind DP, Pen On <3Www@QuestionHome@Com