Opinions on my poem??

Question: Opinions on my poem!?!?

For me:

That sweetest of all fruits
has been denied for too long
defying the forces of gravity
the fruit's stem is strong

Unlike the great Newton
my hope is all but gone
of waiting for it to fall
on my forlorn home

My heart desperately needs the vitamins
that this precious fruit contains
without them I will either die
or live in eternal shame

Psssssssss: Comments, Critics, Opinions Welcome !! = DWww@QuestionHome@Com

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:

How 'bout: !.!.!.!.denied for far too long
defies the force of gravity
the stem is far too strong!.!.!.!.
and: Unlike the law of Newton!.!.!.
!.!.!.of waiting for the fruit to fall
upon my forlorn home

and !.!.!.!.In desperate need of nourishment
this precious fruit contains!.!.!.!.!.
!.!.!.or bear eternal shame!.

just a suggestion!. Keeps the rhythm!.
I love the the premise!. Great analogy!. Keep it up!Www@QuestionHome@Com

I LIKE IT BUT WHAT FRUIT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUTWww@QuestionHome@Com