Hey i need to kno if this sounds good (shakespere sonnet poem)?

Position:Home>Poetry> Hey i need to kno if this sounds good (shakespere sonnet poem)?

Question:

Do you have any tips for me to make this better!? i have to have 10 sylables per line and have the pattern ABAB CDCD EFEF GG

The Laughter of teens echoes everywhere
An Aroma of fresh green grass lingers
Soft music is playing from here and there
The comfort touch of my boyfriend assures

Cool water splashes ‘round as we jump in
A large pool of toys and fun forever
An owl hoots as I start shiverin’
And the clink of horseshoes sneaks, so clever

My lungs fill and stress with woody-pine smokes
As fire crackles and sulfurs replace
A ball of light spirals up and provokes
As a breeze flies through leaves like its a race

A universe of diamonds in the sky
And a bright full moon winks with a goodbyeWww@QuestionHome@Com

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:

It is not really called Shakespeare sonnet
But preferably Elizabethean
You do write like an experience poet
That other might as well feel with such shun

On the fourth line you wrote the word assures
Alhough the word should have rhymed with lingers
On the second line you might use endure
Or if you want change lingers to fingers

On line seven think adjective for owl
It only has nine, but it does rhyme well
Imageries as if I could smell how foul
It is so good, out from my chair I fell

I see talent on how you write your words
Keep on writing for sure you will be heard

GOOD JOB!Www@QuestionHome@Com