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Question: Give me some feedback on the poem I just wrote!.!.!.!?
Polished old shoes fall short of newness,
Embellished words repeating ignorantly
God is dead
God is dead,
Skeptical remarks coming from top dogs,
Doubting the law of gravity,
Drinking water from broken cisterns,
Wine from empty bottles,
Rusty fishing knifes stabbing
The ongoing stand of Nature,
Exploding in spring colors,
I step outside, smell the mint bushes,
Sky stained orange,
The mark of intelligence,
Shining trough the shed!.
But they repeat ignorantly,
God is dead!.
He is alive!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
I like it!. You express the strongest argument for Creationism and that is the order and beauty in nature!. Order never comes from non-intelligence nor dis-order!. The adding of energy to disorder never brings order!. Only by the hand of a Creator can beauty exist!. Well said!. The rusty fishing knife is vivid but seems to be misplaced!. I would say that it is redundant to repeat so blatantly that God is alive, at the end, because the entire poem points to that conclusion without outright statement of this fact!. Over all it is a powerful poem and you are bound to get some negative feedback, but you show great God-given talent, and you should continue to master it!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
It is a very powerful poem!. You have a gift of writing poems!. You should thank God for that everyday!. Keep writing poems!. They are very powerful!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
it's a little dark for me!. i didn't like it as much!. i'm not saying it wasn't good, its just not clicking with me!. i loved the last line though!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
very nicely done! It keeps your readers focused until the end, you use a certain way of writing that "entrances" them into having to read more, your writing is wonderful!. This poem is well written!. wonderful!. Keep up the good work! :)Www@QuestionHome@Com