Can you let me know what you think of this poem?

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Question:

My life takes the image of a shattered mirror
These pieces account for my streaming tears
In disarray, my life, now seems so unclear
"Where am I going, God, why am I here!?"
What's seven years when I've imprisoned myself!?
My face in the mirror resembled someone else
Now I'm shattered to pieces, I need some help
While the world pushes on, I've chosen to dwell
For the cracks in this mirror, I have myself to blame
While the world has been changing, I've remained the same
Holding onto what's lost when I have so much to gain
I'm just a shattered mirror until I defeat this painWww@QuestionHome@Com

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:

You've chosen not to rhyme dwell with anything and that sort of makes the reader slip while reading it!. It's not a bad poem!. You have some genuinely good ideas!. You need to work with it some more!. You could add While the world pushes on I've chosen to dwell within these shards which are like a cell!. This would help you over that slip up!. Just an idea--you don't have to take it!. Keep writing!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Ok not working for me I think you should keep the shattered mirror and just reflect in it, instead of saying all of this I hurt ****!. If you refelct in the mirror, we could see how you feel without the ******* depressing words!. When I say reflect I mean have a damn conversation with yourself and convert it into a poem called "The Mirror" or whatever, it has no type of symbolism at all which is the good **** in a poem!. We all cry, your not the only one!. Don't say why am I here, ****** live before you die!.Www@QuestionHome@Com