Position:Home>Poetry> Rate this PLEASE!!!!!!! 2?

I'm running,
running away,
from the evil,
I go through a dard tunnel,
But wait,
Didn't I pass this!?
I get up and start to run again,
But I am not going anywhere,
I try and try, But my feet don't
move, I cry and cry, But there is
nobody around, I see a dark cloud
coming over me, Its starts to rain!.
I still try and try but I can't get the
rain to stop hitting me!. I cry and cry
Nobody hears me because I'm dead!.

This poem clearly talks about hiding
away while its raining becaause of the dark clouds and rainingWww@QuestionHome@Com

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Oh,wow is all i can think of to say!.It's very powerful!.Maybe you feel unloved!?Or even unwanted!?I don't know but I got a strong meaning from itWww@QuestionHome@Com

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i didn't like it!. it's not very creative!. i would give it a 2Www@QuestionHome@Com

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i like it i give it a 8Www@QuestionHome@Com

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um, it's not very good!. re-read it!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

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I like this, it is a good effort and a good start!. You have a few minor spelling mistakes, and perhaps the structure could be better!. Perhaps try something like this


I’m running,
Running away,
Running from evil!.
I go through a dark tunnel,
But wait,
Didn’t I pass this!?
I get up and start to run again,
But I’m not going anywhere,
I try and try,
But my feet don’t move!.
I cry and cry,
But nobody’s around!.
I see a dark cloud coming over me,
It starts to rain,
I try and try,
But I can’t get the rain to stop hitting me!.
Nobody hears me because I’m !.!.!.!.!.!.
Dead


Just a thought, thanks for sharing!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

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Okay, first off, that is 2 run on sentences!. The way you align your poem and your use of commas are wrong!. also, spelling counts!. It's very simple but you can feel the intensity growing as the poem continues!. Use diction when writing a poem so you have better word choice!. But continue writing!. You know how to express the feeling, just work better at portraying the picture!. I mean what is a picture without feeling!? It's just color on a paper!. You need both emotion and imagery to complete it!. You'll get better as you go along!. And read other poems!. Remember using similar things (I mean that way it's written, not the actual words, line for line!.) in your poem that you've read isn't plagerism!. It's flattering to the writer!. ;P

From 1 to 5, I'd say a 2 only because of the way its formated and grammer!. It'll get better gradually!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

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You might definantly want to re-write this and fix some spelling errors!.It was deep and i could almost feel it but at the same time you lost me!.I think you should add more detail,fix spelling errors,and make the ending a little better also try using bigger words and words with a deeper meaning!.Good work just needs a little changes and if you decide to make some changed let me know i deffinantly would love to read this poem when its rewritten!. In conclusion I would have to rate this poem a 2 !.Www@QuestionHome@Com

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First don't let anyone stop you from writing what you want to write!. I am a poet and editors get paid to correct our work!. It's not grammar or rhymes that make a poem a poem it's how one wants to view a certain message!. And is Frost expressed by the writer and then read by the reader!. But it is what it is!.

Keep on writing don't let no one stop ya!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

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